Do Women Like Anal Sex?

Do women like anal sex? 

Unlike men, women don’t have a prostate that can be stimulated by anal penetration, but that doesn’t mean women can’t enjoy anal sex and find great pleasure in it.

When it comes to anal sex and anal intercourse, there is so much to talk about, so much ground to cover.

Anal intercourse is (still) a stigmatised sex act that many straight men and women feel apprehensive about wanting or wanting to explore. For this reason alone, many hold themselves and/or their sexual partners back from enjoying and even from trying anal penetration. Hopefully, you or your female partner don’t have these hangups, put if you do, the first step towards a better and more varied sex life – a sex life that includes anal sex – is working through them and emerging, freed, on the other side.

In this article, we’re going to talk about everything to do with anal sex and how women can enjoy it. We’ll cover everything from how to broach the subject of anal play with a reluctant female partner to how to make a female parter orgasm during anal sex. Without further ado, let’s get right down to business.

Why anal stimulation feels good even if you don’t have a prostate

Anal sex feels good for both men and women – it’s simple biology. The anal opening as well as the inside of the anus are full of nerve endings and are, as such, erogenous zones. 

Where men and women differ in terms of their ability to enjoy anal sex is that man have a prostate while women don’t. 

The prostate is a gland placed around the urinary tract and it serves two functions within the male body: It helps regulate the flow of urine, as well as the production of come. While the sperm is produced by the testicles, the liquid component is secreted by the prostate. Because of where the prostate is located within the male anatomy it can be stimulated through anal penetration, which is, to say the least, immensely pleasurable. 

Female bodies don’t have a prostate, but that doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy anal sex. Women’s anal openings and anuses have just as many nerve endings as men’s. What’s more, women’s anuses are adjacent to their vaginas, which means that anal penetration will also stimulate the vagina, though not as directly as during vaginal sex.

All in all, the female body is well equipped to enjoy anal sex. 

If you are a woman and you are reluctant to try anal sex – or if you are in a sexual relationship with a woman who is reluctant or even afraid to try it, the cause isn’t biological, but rather psychological. While it’s completely understandable that most women prefer vaginal sex since the vagina has even more nerve endings than the anus and is self-lubricating, there is no biology-based reason for why a woman wouldn’t enjoy and receive sexual pleasure from anal sex.

How to talk to your female partner about anal sex

You may be eager to try anal sex with a female partner, but getting her to agree is a different matter. She may be curious, or she may have some preconceived notions about anal sex that makes her reluctant to try it. Patience and understanding on both sides is key if you want to open up the dialogue about anal sex with your wife, girlfriend or other female sex partner.

If your female partner is curious and willing

Let us say, hypothetically, that you are the male partner in a heterosexual relationship and you are curious about anal sex with your female partner. If your partner is already willing and practiced, or at the very least curious and open-minded when it comes to exploring the pleasures of anal play, you’re in luck.

Over the last decade+, men and women in particular have both become more sex positive and sexually open-minded. Freed as we are from the obstacles and restrictions that bound previous generations to early marriages and very tight societal norms, we generally have much more freedom to explore and express ourselves, as do our sexual partners.

If you are unsure of whether or not your female partner has had anal sex before or would be willing to try it with you, your best approach is to broach the subject during a conversation where you also invite her to share her fantasies and desires. She may have things she wants to try that you’ve never thought of or considered – and if you’re lucky, you may even find that some of her desires overlap with yours. Exchanging fantasies and formulating ideas for things to try together is a fun and sexy way of getting to know each other better and of getting on the same page sexually. 

If your female partner is reluctant or unwilling

If your partner is initially reluctant or even rejecting of the prospect of anal sex, don’t pressure her. Feeling under pressure could taint the experience for both of you and could result in negative tension within relationship. 

Instead, be patient and take it upon yourself to make her feel completely comfortable trying anal sex. And more than that, make her want it too. Talk to her about how sexy you would find it and how good you’re going to make her feel when the two of you are having anal intercourse.

In some cases, your partner’s reluctance may stem from a negative past experience with anal sex. If this is the case, you’ll have to take things at her pace and slowly try to bring her around to seeing how she can feel good having anal sex. Promise her – and stick to that promise – that she can set the pace and your focus will be on giving her pleasure as much as on taking pleasure for yourself.

Needless to say, if a woman utterly rejects the idea, you simply have to respect that anal intercourse is something she doesn’t want to do. It is then up to you to decide how important anal sex is to you and whether or not it is a potential relationship deal breaker. For some, it might be, while to others it might seem like a relatively minor sacrifice.

How women can prepare for anal sex

Usually, women enjoy anal sex if they feel ready for it and as excited about it as their male partners. Here are a few tips that can help women prepare and feel ready for anal sex.

Anal training using toys

If you or your female sexual partner aren’t feeling ready for penile anal penetration, start by experimenting and playing with different toys. 

The great thing about experimenting with toys is that toys can seem less threatening and more under the woman’s control than penile penetration. A woman who is feeling anxious about having anal sex with her partner may experience a greater degree of comfort if she’s able to start out playing with toys on her own. She will then be able to set the pace and will also be able to choose the size of the toy. 

If a woman who is feeling both nervous and curious about anal sex takes her time to experience and explore on her own first, she will be more familiar with the sensations of anal penetration and will know how to communicate better with her partner about what she likes and doesn’t like when it comes to actual penile anal intercourse.

Having said that, playing with anal sex toys as a couple can also be a lot of fun. It can feel good and deliciously naughty to explore sex toys and new sexual experiences together. 

Needless to say, couples of any sexual orientation and constellation can enjoy anal sex using sex toys. In sexual relationships where neither partner has a penis, dildos, butt plugs and other sex toys can be used to create a similar effect and experience for both partners.

Getting clean and ready

Before having anal sex, one of the best and most important things receiving partners of both genders can do to feel ready and confident is to shower and clean themselves beforehand. 

This includes making sure that you have had bowel movements before getting into bed, since your anus is where your human waste comes from and the last thing you want is a smelly surprise during anal intercourse. The mere thought of potentially having to poop during sex is enough to put out the flames of desire, so make sure you won’t even have to think about it.

While going to the toilet and cleaning up in the shower is sufficient to get clean and clear before having anal sex, investing a bit of cash in an anal douche could well be worth it for the added peace of mind it could give you.

An anal douche flushes clean water through the anus before being expelled, leaving the anal opening and cavity clean and free from any debris that could otherwise linger there.

How male partners of women can help them feel ready for anal sex

We’ve covered what women themselves can do to get ready for anal play and anal intercourse. This, of course, is only half of the equation that leads to mind-blowing anal sex. The other half is what their male (or female) partners can do to make anal sex a pleasurable and desirable experience.

Rimming 

There is more to anal sex than penile anal penetration. Rimming is a type of anal sex in and of itself, while also being the ideal foreplay to anal intercourse.

Rimming entails anal-oral contact, where one partner licks, sucks and probes the others anal opening with his or her tongue and mouth. In other words, rimming is the anal equivalent of cunnilingus or a blow job. 

Rimming is wonderfully pleasurable, while also being a very gentle way of exploring the sensations of anal sex. The tongue, while being able to penetrate the anal opening, has nowhere near the size and girth of a fully erect penis, so the receiving partner can feel reassured that it is going to feel good and not hurt at all.

If your female partner is feeling uncomfortable about full-on penile penetration, rimming is perhaps the best tool in your sexual toolbox when the goal is to make her feel pleasure from butt sex and make her hungry for more.

Start with anal fingering to get used to the new sensation

Anal fingering is one step up from rimming and can often be combined with rimming for a truly tantalising anal sex experience. 

Anal fingering does what it says on the tin – it’s about using your fingers to probe and explore and stimulate your female partner’s anus. 

Always start slow by sliding just one finger inside to make sure she feels comfortable. You’ll quickly be able to tell from her body language when she’s ready for more. 

All in all, anal fingering is a great percursor to anal intercourse, not only because it feels great and is guaranteed to make her horny, but because it helps widen and prepare the anal opening for you to insert your penis. 

In fact, you should always do some rimming and fingering before sliding in your penis – otherwise, she may feel too tight and the experience can be painful. The last thing you want is to consider anal sex an uncomfortable experience because it may make her not want to try it again. The goal is for both of you to feel great so that you’ll both want to come back for more.

Dirty talk

Dirty talk works in just about any sexual scenario, and anal sex is no exception. Talk dirty to her while rimming, fingering and later fucking her ass.

Talking dirty requires confidence, so not everyone is comfortable doing it. But if you are, it’s the best aphrodisiac around.

If talking dirty really isn’t your thing or you’re not feeling confident enough to do it, using praise and compliments while having sex can be just as effective. Praising your partners body and talking about your desire for her is sure to drive her wild. Be as descriptive and explicit as you can; talk about how she tastes, smells, etc. and what effect it has on you. If you’re lucky, she’ll talk back, but even if she doesn’t, you can be sure that your words are having a powerful effect.

How a woman can enjoy anal sex and experience anal orgasms

We’ve covered how women can feel more at ease having anal sex, but what about pleasure? 

Pleasure for both partners is, of course, the entire point of exploring and having anal sex. So let’s look at how you can help your woman reach anal orgasms that’ll make her scream with pleasure.

Get her horny

It is always more tempting to try a new sexual experience when you are already wildly turned on. With this knowledge in mind, don’t go straight for anal sex if either you or your partner have never had it before. Ideally, you will already have spoken about it beforehand and be on the same page about trying it out at some point.

Like all great sex, the best anal sex starts with foreplay. In this case, foreplay can include vaginal penetration – just make sure that neither of you climax from it. 

It is up to you and your partner how long you want to spend on foreplay, but taking your time is usually a good idea. Arouse her slowly and make her want anal sex as much as you do by taking the steps mentioned earlier; rimming, fingering, dirty talking, potentially starting with a toy that is smaller than your penis to really get her ready. 

And of course, pay some attention to her clitoris. This is where she has the most nerve-endings, so licking and toying with it is a great way to get her in the mood for other sexual experiences too.

Go at her pace

The most important thing is to take things at her pace, particularly if she is an anal virgin and/or reluctant to indulge in anal sex. As mentioned earlier in this article, there could be all sorts of underlying reasons for her to feel apprehensive, including past negative experiences and misconceptions about what anal sex is and how it feels.

Make her feel comfortable and horny every step of the way and let her know she is the one with her foot on the gas pedal. If you do this right and don’t skimp on the rimming, the dirty talking and the gentle fingering, you’ll soon have her craving and begging for more.

Start in the doggy position

The doggy position is a classic because it is great for both anal and vaginal penetration. 

In the doggy position, the receiving partner is kneeling on all fours with the penetrating partner behind her or him. There are many great things about the doggy position, and one of them is that it gives the penetrating partner easy access to the other’s anal opening, which makes penetration easy. By contrast, penile anal penetration can be much more difficult if the receiving partner is lying down on his or her back. In the doggy style position, everything is exposed and easily accessible. Another great thing about doggy style is that it allows you to thrust deep into your partner with nothing in the way.

The doggy style pose only request the penetrating partner to lean in and penetrate the other partner – it’s as simple as. If neither of you have had anal sex before, it can take a few tries to be able to penetrate as the anal opening is tighter than the vaginal opening, so the experience is markedly different to having vaginal sex, and not just for the female partner.

If this is the first time you are entering your female partner anally, do it very slowly and as gently as you possibly can. Once she’s feeling comfortable with all of the new sensations, you can be more forceful.

Also, once you have both gotten comfortable having anal sex in the doggy style position, you can start experimenting with other positions to discover which one you enjoy more. A few sexual positions that lend themselves particularly well to anal sex include reverse cowboy, seated and laying-down doggy style.

Change condoms when going from front to back

If you transition from anal to vaginal intercourse during sex, always change condoms to prevent fecal bacteria from getting into her vagina. 

It is easy to understand why; if she gets a bacterial infection after having anal sex with you, she probably won’t want to again. At the very least, it’ll put a dampener on her sex drive for a while. 

Use plenty of lube

The primary reason why some women experience anal sex as painful is that they simply aren’t using enough lube. 

Unlike the vagina, which produces its own lubricant when aroused, the walls of the anus are much more dry and less elastic. As a result, anal sex can feel more tight and painful, and it can be more difficult to achieve a good glide that doesn’t chafe or result in internal lacerations.

The solution is to always use plenty of lube. As a rule of thumb, use more lube than you think you’ll need. Don’t worry about staining the sheets – you probably will. Sheets can be washed and getting dirty is part of a fun sexual experience, so just get over any preciousness you have about spilling lube and get on with it.

Water-based lube is usually the best choice, particularly if you are using any sex toys. Many sex toys are sensitive to the ingredients in oil-or silicone based lubes and can even break down over time when exposed to non-water-based lubes. 

Often, a warming or tingling lube can be utterly delicious and can make the anal sex experience feel even better and more intimate.

Focus on the clit

Whatever you do, no matter what kind of sex you’re having, if you have a female partner, don’t neglect her clit.

A woman’s clitoris has thousands of hyper-sensitive nerve endings and is just about as sensitive as the male glans. Most women like having their clitorises licked, sucked and otherwise teased, and many women are incapable of reaching orgasm through vaginal or anal sex alone.

If you have a dexterous mouth and fingers, use them to raise her libido and bring her to a climax both before and during anal intercourse.

Advantages of anal stimulation vs vaginal sex

Having anal sex offers several advantages that vaginal sex doesn’t. 

We don’t suggest that you replace vaginal sex with the anal variety, but here are a few good reasons why anal sex is sometimes the preferable option, or at the very least a highly enjoyable addition to your sexual repertoire:

Anal sex generates a sexual sensation that can’t be experienced any other way

Anal intercourse is an entirely different experience than vaginal intercourse because it creates a unique sexual sensation that simply can’t be felt any other way. The nerve endings in your anus are not the same as the nerve endings in your vagina, so why should you be content with only playing half of the sexual piano keys you have available?

Adding anal sex as an additional item on the menu in your sexual relationships is guaranteed to bring more fun, more variety and more pleasure into your sex life. What’s not to love?

Anal sex is a natural birth control

If you and your sexual partner are worried about potentially getting pregnant, then anal sex is the best alternative to vaginal intercourse.

There is nothing worse than being caught up in the heat of the moment, discovering you have forgotten any form of contraceptive, but going ahead anyway because the wave of passion is too powerful for the two of you to resist. You already know what the aftermath is going to be: A sense of regret and worry about a potential unwanted pregnancy.

Fortunately, anal sex gives you an alternative. Presuming you are with a trusted partner and are both STD free, having anal sex mitigates the risk of pregnancy. 

Anal sex can give women more sexual freedom

One of the things that sometimes hold women back from feeling as sexually free as men is the risk of pregnancy. It follows that, bcause there is zero risk of pregnancy when having anal sex, anal intercourse may allow women to feel more free and confident while having sex with their male partners.

Anal sex feels naughty

There’s something inherently naughty about anal sex. Perhaps it is the knowledge that it is purely for fun and pleasure, that there can be no reproductive purpose for it. Perhaps it’s because it is a sex act that has been fraught with taboo and even been forbidden in many societies throughout history. Either way, there’s simply something deliciously naughty about anal sex.

Common fears and misconceptions women have about anal sex

Plenty of women hold themselves – and therefore also their sexual partners – back from exploring and enjoying anal sex, not based on experience but on a lack of experience and a lack of knowledge.

If either you or a female partner you would like to have anal sex with is reluctant to try anal sex it could simply be that you don’t have the right information. Let’s bust a few myths surrounding anal sex that may put you more at ease:

Anal is more painful than vaginal sex

The anal cavity doesn’t expand to accommodate a partner’s penis as easily as the vaginal canal does, so anal intercourse can be more uncomfortable or even painful. Having said that, there are plenty of ways to make it not hurt, such as starting slow with fingering or a small toy, and always using plenty of lubricant. 

When done right, anal sex feels amazing and doesn’t hurt at all.

There is a higher risk of sexually transmitted infections with anal sex

Anal sex comes with the risk of exposing you to sexually transmitted infections, but so does vaginal sex. Whether or not a particular sexual activity puts you at risk of contacting a STD has more to do with your sexual relationships and partners. 

If you are in an exclusive, monogamous relationship with a partner you can trust and both of you are STD free, the risk of you contracting a sexually transmitted disease from anal sex with your partner is zero. If, on the other hand, you have multiple partners or an open relationship, the chances of you catching a disease from one of them is much higher. Always use condoms when you are at potential risk of contracting a STD.

Only gay or bi men want anal sex

Women without a lot of experience may worry that their partner is secretly gay or at least bi if he asks her to have anal sex. However, this is a complete myth. A man wanting to have anal sex with a female partner is hardly gay.

It feels good for men to have sex with their partners both vaginally and anally. To men, the vaginal and anal cavity offer different sensations in terms of tightness and texture, so it is perfectly natural that a man in a sexual relationship with a woman would want to have anal sex with her – he simply wants to experience more of her. It’s no reflection on his sexual orientation, and if anything, it should reassure you that he desires you.

Conclusion: Do women like anal sex 

The short answer is yes. Women, if given the time and space to get comfortable with the sensation of anal penetration, find anal sex pleasurable. 

It is no secret that most women prefer vaginal sex over anal sex, but many women also enjoy anal if they decide to try it. What keeps some women and thus their parters from enjoying anal sex is often a complicated mix of psychological factors.

For straight people – both men and women – there can be some stigma around enjoying anal penetration, so if fear of the unknown is what’s holding you or your partner back from wanting to explore anal play, it is important for the two of you to talk about where the resistance is coming from and whether or not it should be allowed to hold you back from exploring new avenues of pleasure together. 

Often, a reluctance to enjoy anal sex can stem from ill-informed presumptions and a lack of experience. And in some cases, a few negative experiences can be enough to taint a woman’s entire appetite for anal sex.

One of the most common misconceptions many women have about anal sex is that it is inevitably going to be painful. However, it doesn’t have to be if the penetrating partner is willing to take his time and make his female partner feel good by being slow and gentle while focusing on her needs and pleasure zones as much as on his own.

The anal opening and the internal part of the anus are full of nerve endings, so anal sex is bound to feel good if enough lube is used and if the receiving partner is feeling comfortable and relaxed. Anal orgasms are possible even for those who don’t have a prostate. For this to happen, though, the clit will usually have to be stimulated throughout the anal intercourse.

Whether or not a woman enjoys anal sex usually comes down to a few different factors including how open-minded and prepared she is to try new experiences and how comfortable she is with her partner. As her partner, the second half of the equation hinges on you and your ability to make her feel both horny and at ease.

Taking it slow is key to women learning how to enjoy anal sex. Spend as much time as you need to get your female partner acquainted with the pleasurable sensations of receiving anal stimulation, and reward her by also paying attention to other parts of her body.

When it comes right down to it, the female body is capable of deriving great and intense pleasure from anal sex. It’s just a matter of getting there.