Ultimate Sex Tips for Men 2023


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These are the ultimate sex tips for men in 2023.

No matter how awesome you think you are in bed, there will always be room for improvement. And even if you believe you already have a healthy and satisfying sex life, it doesn’t hurt to make it even better. And trust me, you can always make things better. Maybe your sex life has been dreary and predictable lately and you are looking to spice things up, or perhaps you are already getting good sex, but you want to make each love-making session a mind-blowing and toe-curling experience for you and your partner. Well, you have come to the right place; we have scoured the internet and compiled everything there is to know for an amazing sex life. Here are the best sex tips for men.

Aside from the emotional high from the rush of feel-good hormones and scientifically proven health benefits of sex, great passionate sex is a man’s badge of honor – hearing her praises can easily boost one man’s confidence, a nice little ego boost. And confidence in bed is everything.

So whether you are looking to last longer, boost your libido, have a rock-solid erection, or leave your woman exhausted and asleep from having whole-body tremors from multiple orgasms, or all of the above, then this sex tips for men is for you. 

Before you dive deep into the rabbit hole

The thing is, being good in bed and delivering sexual satisfaction requires two things: knowing when and how to apply the tested-and-proven techniques and emotion-based intimacy. Sure you are an experienced sexual athlete, and you know a lot of exotic positions from reading the Kama Sutra or watching a lot of porn in the past. You may also have dabbled in scented oils and sex toys. These things have their special place (and we will get to them in a while, I promise). But the reality is, in most cases, the basics can be more than enough. Being attentive and generous to your partner’s needs can go a long way.

The biggest mistake most men do in bed is that they obsessively focus on the physical act of sex itself. Emotional connection should not be an afterthought, establishing and keeping that strong connection with your partner while doing it is just as important. You can role-play or talk dirty (if that’s what you are both into), but more importantly, you should be open to talking about your desires (or even fantasies) and take a keen interest in your partner’s.

Great sex is both physical and emotional techniques combined. Orgasms will come naturally if you and your partner are truly having fun and are emotionally present in the physical act.

Quick note: Some of these sex tips – especially the physical ones – are specifically for penetrative sex between men and women. The emotional aspects, of course, apply to every one of sexual orientation.

With that in mind, here are the best sex tips for men: 

Sex tips for men: Things you can do outside of the bedroom

The best foreplay begins outside of the bedroom.

Talk about sex baby

Many people in relationships, especially those who have been together for so long, feel like they’re in a rut; they go through the motions of daily routine. Don’t let this be the norm in your relationship. Sexual communication means being comfortable verbalizing what you feel and the things that you want with your partner. Of course, this goes both ways; you have to be keen on your partner’s needs and preferences too.

Feel free to talk about sex, in an exciting way of course. Talk dirty from time to time too to raise excitement and anticipation.

Start Sexting

If you are tongue-tied and don’t know where to start, or afraid that your partner is not into it and you might cross the line, you can ease your way into dirty talk. This way, you can gauge your partner’s reaction. One of the best ways to do it is virtual – through chat or text. Yes, it’s called sexting.

You can start by describing a scene, something like “hey, just got out of the shower, now I’m naked in bed.” You don’t have to be naked in bed, you could be doing something else. From there you can raise the anticipation by talking about your sexual fantasies.

It also pays to talk about what feels good. You can moan, sigh, or say “don’t stop doing that”, “that feels amazing”, etc. These are cues that make your partner feel good. In the same way, take note of these cues from your partner too.

The idea is to keep sexual communication between you and your partner up throughout the day to make things exciting for you when you get home.

Get in shape

Men, especially those in long-term relationships, tend to overlook their physical health. They become complacent about their relationship that they stop caring about their bodies.

You may think this is superficial, but this is just basic human evolutionary biology. No, you don’t need 6-pack abs and muscles all over your body. You just have to look after yourself a little bit to look strong and healthy. Most women are attracted to strong-looking men. Yes, your partner loves you for who you are, but it makes better sex if you look good naked. Be the object of her sexual desire.

Daily exercise, even for as short as 15 minutes a day, can improve your self-esteem, your self-image, and more importantly, your sex drive.

Best Exercises for Sex

Some exercises can help you become better at sex. Pushups, pullups, planks, and crunches will strengthen all the necessary muscle groups that you need for sex, such as your chest, shoulders, and core. Moreover, strengthening these body parts can help you last longer. Aerobic training and cardiovascular exercises, of course, can help strengthen your lungs and heart, which is important for an intense sex session. Squats and lunges will strengthen your legs, which is vital for standing upright positions if that’s what you and your partner fantasize about.

Also, being in shape will allow you to satisfy your partner better by avoiding erectile dysfunction, lasting longer, and performing better. This is because when you are in shape, you have better blood flow in your nether regions, especially in your penis, which leads to a harder erection and a more satisfying sexual encounter.

But don’t go overboard

There are things called overtraining and point of diminishing returns, both are results of excessive exercise.

Overtraining can lower your libido and sperm count as it suppresses the production of testosterone and other important hormones in your body that stimulates your sex drive and sperm production. The point of diminishing returns happens when you work out (especially when lifting) excessively that you are hurting your body instead of helping.

Also, when you are overtrained, you are always exhausted, which means you will have a lower sex drive too.

Do kegels

Yes, you read that right, Kegel exercises aren’t just for women, they are equally as important and beneficial for men too.

If you are unsure where your Kegels are, try stopping your stream while urinating. That’s the function of your Kegels – it is important for both your colon and urinary functions. The stronger these muscles are, the better control you have over your orgasm control, erection, and ejaculation.

Perform pelvic floor exercises by tightening your muscles for about 3 seconds, before relaxing them again for 3 seconds. Do this exercise for 3 sets of 10 to 12 repetitions every day.

Never make it a habit to cut your stream while urinating, this is bad for your kidneys.

Learn Edging techniques

Orgasms feel amazing, but learning how to delay your orgasm will make it 10 times better. This is what edging is about.

Also called peaking or surfing, edging is a sexual technique where you have fully controlled orgasms. It is practiced alone (or with a partner) and involves a high level of extending sexual arousal without reaching climax. Basically, edging is a cycle of stimulation to the point of orgasm (climax or finishing), before stopping yourself from finishing, waiting for a short time (a few seconds), and starting it all over again.

Each time you start over, orgasms feel more intense, until you finally “fall off the edge” of sexual satisfaction. Moreover, edging will help you manage your erection, control your ejaculation, and more importantly, last longer in bed.

Edging basics

To practice edging alone, you can pleasure yourself, and right at the moment when you are about to cum, stop yourself. You can pinch the tip of your penis and hold it until the excitement slows down. There are many ways to practice edging, but this is the most basic example of how to do it alone. Be careful not to wait too long before starting all over again, as it can spoil the excitement and make it difficult for you to finish when you want to.

Eat healthily

Moreover, eat healthily. While this doesn’t sound like a sex tip, giving your body the chance to get the most nutrients can dramatically increase your libido. Also, avoiding fatty foods can help lower your cholesterol and keep your cardiovascular health strong, which helps ensure good blood circulation at peak performance. 

Abstain a little bit

Abstain for a few days or a couple of weeks to build excitement. Yes, it’s a weird sex tip, but it works.

While regular sex is important for partners, practicing restraint from time to time to focus on non-physical aspects of your relationships can go a long way for your sex life. Couples in long-distance relationships, for example, get meaningful interactions daily, which leads to a higher level of intimacy. For this to work, however, you must keep the romance alive daily.

Think of it as a reward or prize that you must work hard for. It makes sex more exciting for both of you.

When you do this, however, make sure both of you are on the same page. While abstinence can reinforce the connection, it can also disconnect intimacy.

 Plan for your sexy time

Another incredibly effective way to build excitement for sex. Now, this may sound unsexy but hear us out.

Planning for sex doesn’t mean squeezing it in your scheduling . It means clearing up your time and arranging opportunities for sex. Too often we bump sex down the priority list because of our busy life

This is extremely important for couples with kids or busy professionals. Never let your busy life and fatigue dwindle your sex life. Don’t just find the right time, make time for good sex. 

Occasionally, get off before sexy time

This is a common technique used by male adult stars to last longer in their shoot. Why does this work? Well, when a man ejaculates, he experiences a refractory period, a period where the body recovers and replenishes after the orgasm and climax.

However, it is important to note that every man has a different “recovery phase”. Some will only need a couple of hours or even 30 minutes to recover fully. Older men, however, may need 12 hours.

Take care of it

This is one of the most important sex tips for men that is often overlooked. Yes, sex is supposed to be messy, but that doesn’t mean it should be filthy too. Wash your hands and wash your dick before and after you get busy. The last thing you want is to introduce harmful bacteria to your and your partner’s private areas. A clean dick is a good dick.

Also, if you are not in a monogamous relationship, make sure to wear protection (condoms) and avoid sexually transmitted infections.

“Research” together

Don’t be afraid to bring some new ideas into the bedroom, and do it together. Talk about your ideas of satisfying sexual encounters, your sexual desire, and sexual fantasies. Read the Kama Sutra or erotica articles, watch porn together (believe it or not, lots of women love to watch porn), or maybe make your sex tape. Make sure your partner is open and comfortable with the idea, of course.

Compliment her

An incredibly foolproof way to get your partner in the mood and drive her wild is to compliment her body. What specific feature of her body do you like the most? Tell her, she loves to hear it.

Try to keep the compliments general though. Sometimes the very thing that you like about your partner can be the source of her insecurities. You can say something like “your ass is so hot” instead of “I love your big butt”. 

Kiss her more

Kissing your partner passionately relieves stress by releasing chemical hormones (dopamine) into the brain. Study showsthe effects of a passionate kiss is likened to the stimulation of the brain activated by cocaine and heroin, which results in a feeling of euphoria. Moreover, it also releases oxytocin (the lover hormone), which fosters your affection and connection with your partner.

Making out with your partner more throughout the day is an excellent way to tease your partner about what’s to come in the bedroom. Again, out-of-bedroom foreplay. Of course, the kiss should be passionate and should last more than 10 seconds. A passionate kiss that lasts around 10 seconds triggers the release of oxytocin in the brain. 

Figure out what you want for your sex life

This is probably the most important sex tips for men in this list. The majority of people go about their entire life without ever thinking about this. And many times, they don’t realize this is what’s lacking in their life, or that it is the root of the problem in their sex life. When asked, most people will simply answer “just a lot more of it”. Well, that is a good start, but that is an incomplete answer.

How much of it that you want? How often do you want it? What emotional tone do you want to have while doing it? How long do you want it to last? Should there be music playing in the background? Lights on or lights off? What exactly do you fantasize about your partner? What do you already like in your sex life? What have you heard from friends or seen from erotic movies that piqued your interest and you want to try out?

Once you figure these things out, ask your partner for their ideal sex life. Then communicate that with each other and work on ways to live your ideal sex life and meet each other’s physical and emotional needs.

More importantly, this is a great way to find out if you two are sexually compatible. 

Respect her boundaries

You can have a signature move or preferred exotic sex position that may have worked wonders with your previous sexual partners, but that doesn’t mean they will work with your present partner too. Each person is different, so if your partner says “stop, that’s too painful” or “I’m not comfortable doing that”, then abort the mission. Try something else. 

Things you can do in the bedroom

Now for the juicy part.

Set up the scene

Play soft music, light the candles, get a good and relaxing shower, pop a bottle of wine, and do whatever it is that will set up the scene for both you and your partner. This sounds cliché, but you know for yourself that initiating sex, good sex, takes a lot of work.

Keep eye contact

There is a perfect time to beast it out in the bedroom, but for that to work, you have to set up the pace and start slow. The best way to do that is to make and keep eye contact with your partner.

Gaze into your woman’s eyes while you explore her body with your hands and fingers. Do this often throughout your foreplay and it will pay dividends later.

Take your sweet time in foreplay

However long you think foreplay should be, triple it.

Sex shouldn’t be rushed (unless you have to). So take your time and explore your partner’s erogenous areas before you get to the main event. Not only will sexual play build the anticipation even stronger, but it will also help you uncover your and your partner’s deepest bedroom desires. The good news for you, there is too much real estate in a woman’s body for you to explore.

Foreplay also lets you discover what you like and what you don’t like.

Now foreplay mustn’t mean going straight down south. Try touching, kissing, licking, or nibbling the other parts of her body, and encourage your partner to do the same. Kiss the nape of her neck, squeeze her breast slowly, touch her nipples (nipple stimulation is extremely effective, trust me), caress and kiss her inner thigh, gently bite her ears, pull her hair a little bit when kissing her lips, etc. Tease her, make her want it. This is your best way to make her achieve orgasm.

Again, take your time and build the sexual tension, this is the best way to deliver such intense orgasms for a satisfying sexual encounter.

Explore her pleasure points

Speaking of erogenous points, the woman’s body is riddled with various potential pleasure centers. Pleasure centers exist all over the body, and some women prefer other pleasure centers to other women.

Most women gravitate towards clitoral stimulation for intense orgasms. Some prefer the standard penetrative sex so you can hit their G-spot.  Some love doing both at the same time. Some also prefer internal stimulation through deep cervical stimulation delivered from deep penetration. Many even love anal penetration. Again, different folks, different strokes. So take your time to discover what your partner likes best. And while at it, include some dirty talk too. 

Return the favor, orally

Many people narrowly define sex and assume that only sex with deep penetration counts. Well, as soon as you learn how to expand your definition of sex, you will learn to increase your opportunities for pleasure. News flash, anal sex, and oral sex are still sex.

Speaking about oral sex, men most of the time, get head during sex. If you are happy to receive it, you should learn to love to return the favor too.

When you return the favor to her, make sure you don’t rush it. If there is a repetitive pattern throughout this list of sex tips for men, it is about taking your time and enjoying the moment.

When going down on her, tend to other parts of her body too. You can squeeze her breasts (be gentle with it though, as a hard squeeze can hurt your partner), play with her nipples, caress her body, etc., before and while you zero in on her clitoris. 

Spell the ABC on her clit

Speaking of zeroing in on her clit, cunnilingus is your friend.

Men and women are different in so many ways. There is a huge disparity between a man’s single-peak orgasm and a woman’s multi-orgasmic capability. If you want to put your name out there in her head’s “hot lover list”, then get serious about your tongue skills.

The most basic technique was to lick both her labia and clit as you were eating an ice cream cone. You don’t bite an ice cream cone, you lick it.

Start light and slow, and crank up the pace gradually.

And don’t just lick up and down, go side-to-side, and make circles. Moreover, if run out of ideas, you cannot go wrong spelling the ABC on her clit with your tongue. Remember what I said about foreplay? You can triple the duration of your cunnilingus by spelling the ABC multiple times down there. You can also spell her name, or your name, etc.

Again, be gentle with your tongue action. The woman’s clitoris is extremely sensitive, it houses tons of nerve endings. The idea here is to build anticipation before your penetration.

Change things up

We are creatures of habit, even inside the bedroom. It is easy for men to fall in love with a specific position once they find out their partner likes it. Well, chocolates are great, but if you eat a block of chocolate every single day, for the next few weeks, it is going to cloy your sweet tooth.

The same thing can happen with sex. While it is good to do the stuff that you like, it doesn’t hurt to switch things up a bit from time to time.

Say you like the doggy position, how about incorporating that with four or five more positions? If you are feeling adventurous, you can try more.

Also, change the pace too; pound her as much as you want, but give her a rest too by slowing it down and sliding in and out smoothly.

The idea is to avoid making your sex life a monotonous routine. Make it unpredictable, surprise your partner.

You can also gift your woman with new lingerie, introduce toys, or anything that adds to the intimacy and orgasm.

Try doing it first thing in the morning

Speaking of switching things up, how about trying to do it first thing in the morning, right before you get out of bed?

This is incredibly beneficial for busy parents who may find it difficult to squeeze time (or energy) for a sex session at night. Besides, you two are already in bed.

The good news for men is because you are already lying down, you have good blood flow down there. Moreso, during the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) stage of your sleep, blood has rushed down to your genitals, giving you that thing they call “morning wood.” Make use of that.

Try an intimate position instead

Doggy, cowgirl, and reverse cowgirl feel good, but there is a reason why missionary, spooning, and lotus positions (when your partner is on top of you while you are sitting) are far more intimate. Your bodies are intertwined, skin-to-skin, and you can make eye contact.

There is an amazing position that works wonders for both men and women called Oasis.  This position is perfect for women to feel sexy and embrace their sexuality as a seductress. The position goes like this:

The Oasis

You (the man) will sit on the floor, with wide apart legs slightly bent, and you will lean your upper body slightly forward. Your partner (the woman) sits on top of you while spreading her legs on both sides of her buttocks. Both of her knees should be on the floor, and her heel touching the back side of the hamstring. Hold your woman with your arms; hug her body and grasp her neck with your hands. As she tilts her body slightly backward, you can pull her down for deep penetration. And while at it, you can suck on her breasts, play with her nipples with your lips and tongue, and kiss her neck.

This is an incredibly intense position for passionate sex and intense orgasm control, as it lets you stimulate her other pleasure centers. She can rub her clit against you while you pull her down for deep penetration for cervical stimulation. It also allows longer sex sessions as it’s not too physically demanding.

Take it outside the bedroom

Plan a sex vacation. Survey shows people tend to have more sexy time when on vacation than when they are at home. Not all of us have the luxury of time and resources to travel and have a vacation whenever and wherever we want. The good news is, you don’t have to travel the world to have a romantic and passionate sexual encounter. You can start small, say a staycation in a beautiful hotel in your city.

Make it a regular thing for you and your partner, like once a month, every other month, quarterly, etc. You deserve a break from the hectic and monotonous daily life, so why not spend it with your partner?

You can also simply move sex outside of the bedroom. Bedroom sex is good, but sex doesn’t have to be exclusively for bed. Try it in your living room, kitchen, shower, or even in the garage. You can even take it outdoors, inside the safety of a tent, when camping, this is a great way to escape from technology. Many people are turned on by the idea of “doing it” in uncommon locations. Now don’t do it in public and out in the open, as that could get you in trouble with the law. 

Lube up

Gone are the days when lubes were deemed embarrassing bedroom add-ons. Now, it is widely considered a staple tool for people across all sexual orientations and age groups. And why not, when it can take your sex session to a whole new level of intensity and satisfaction by reducing friction, allowing you to go deeper and last longer?

Yes, you have to do all foreplay to get your woman in the mood and allow her to self-lubricate”, but there are times that natural lubrication may not be enough. There are dry seasons throughout their monthly cycles, which means no matter how turned on they feel psychologically, sometimes their body will not cooperate. That is completely natural and happens all the time.

Also, using lubes is a must when using toys, as it greatly reduces friction, allowing you to slide in and out effortlessly, all while grinding against her clitoris.

Have a bottle of lube ready by the nightstand so you can reach for it when needed. Squeeze in a couple of drops onto the tip of your penis before you penetrate her and watch the magic unfold.

Introduce toys to the bedroom

Get some toys for her

As said earlier, the majority of women enjoy clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Some women need stronger stimulation than others. This can be where a machine-strong level of stimulation like a small clit vibrator can get into the picture. Sex toys can amplify orgasms, increase the thrill, and help you get out of the monotonous routine.

The great thing about small sex toys is they don’t take up that much space and they’re quite discreet. You can bring these toys on your vacation.

You can also gift your woman vibrating panties or mini vibrators that connect to your smartphone via an app. You have all the control, you can watch her have a good time and get into the mood.

For couples who don’t see each other often, you can invest in smart vibrators that you can control via smartphone. It can connect to the internet and you can stimulate your partner from afar via the app. Yes, it’s a thing, and it is growing more and more popular by the day. No need for awkward phone sex.

Aside from mini vibrators, you can also get her butt plugs or anal beads, if that’s what she’s into. 

Get toys for you too

Sex toys have come a long way in the past two decades. More and more adult toys now incorporate technology and offer incredible ways to experience sexual pleasure. Take for example Fleshlight. Before these life-like masturbators came, men are limited to lifeless and disturbing-looking blowup dolls and their hands. Now, men can get incredible solo play sessions with these incredibly realistic sex toys. Solo play toys like this can also help you practice lasting longer.

Some automatic masturbators can take care of your penis and satisfy you even while away from your partner. While you can control your partner’s vibrator, she can also control your massager or masturbator the same way, through the internet via an app.

Pleasure yourselves, together

Mutual masturbation (pleasuring yourself alongside your partner) is another way to spice things up in the bedroom and improve sexual satisfaction .

Indeed, it is difficult to keep your hands to yourself when you see your partner naked in bed. But it can be amazing foreplay. What could be sexier than watching your woman touch herself? Moreover, you can keep an eye out for what gets her going. Take note of those cues so you can do those things to her.

Again, you can use toys to up the ante.

Maybe, just maybe, make a sex tape?

This sex advice is not for everyone. But a lot of people, even women, love watching themselves having sex. Sex tape watching is way better than watching other people have sex (watching porn). It works as a fun activity, plus, if you two know that you are filming a sex tape, you are going to give it your all to make a good sex tape. That means better sex.

Of course, you have to plan this out and need to have her permission to film your sex session. This is why most of the time, this can only work for long-term partners.

Also, make sure you have the tape locked and secured in whatever device you shoot them from. Planning to save it on your computer? Put a password on it. 

Never skip the aftercare

End your sex with a warm embrace. A nice cuddle after an intense sex session can go a long way for a healthy sex life and your relationship.

The Takeaway

There you have it, the most important sex tips for men this 2023. Getting good at sex takes time and requires lots of practice. If you feel you are struggling in bed in any way, shape, or form, it will be best to talk to a sex therapist or sex coach.

Whatever you’re into, read our expert deep-dive into the best automatic male masturbators on the market today where we test out and review the Kiiroo Keon, Autoblow AI and many more top long distance sex toys to give you the best advice on what to go for.

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