How to Become More Sexually Confident


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We’ll teach you how to become more sexually confident. Sex serves as a gateway to fostering intimate relationships and keeping connections with your partners, and for many, it can be a form of validation of their sexuality and self confidence. Sex could mean different things to different people. It’s one of those reasons why many lack sexual confidence.

A simple Google search of the phrase “how to achieve orgasm” or “ways to satisfy your sexual partner” can bring in thousands of potential results. Many of these so-called tips tell you the right and wrong ways of doing sex. As a result, many people lack sexual confidence because they feel as though they do not measure up to what these tips recommend as the “right” way of engaging in sex and sexual activity.

If you are one of those who feel anxious during an intimate moment with their partner, or you want to eliminate the feeling of sexual shame, you’ve come to the right place. You can find the essential tips you need to become more sexually confident.

What Does Sexual Confidence Looks Like?

First things first, it’s important to identify what sexually confident women and men looks like. Are there any identifying characteristics?

Sexual confidence in men and women is basically how you carry yourself during a sexual experience or sexual encounter with the opposite sex (or your choice of partner). It is similar to self confidence because it refers to your perception of your own value as a sexual being. Simply put, sexual confidence is whether or not you believe yourself to be sexually desirable to your partner or another human being.

Feeling sexually confident is about feeling comfortable in your body. That self confidence translates into your intimate experience and sexual activities. If you feel sexually confident, you are not shy about giving and receiving pleasure. You also tend to feel confident in exploring new techniques in bed to experience pleasure at the highest level. Therefore, sexual confidence is important to have for men and women because it is your ticket to having the best sexual experience of your life.

Various factors can impact your sexual confidence. For men, their sexual self confidence might be affected by their penis size or if they have a sexual dysfunction (such as premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction). For women, their confidence with their sexual partners might be affected by their body image. A lot of women are conscious about how they look naked, which can impact their sexual performance and sexual confidence.

Tips to Gain Sexual Self Confidence

Before we dive into the tips on how to feel sexually confident, it’s important to note that there is no one way to boost your self confidence in bed or during a sexual encounter. Be patient with yourself and find the method that makes you feel good and helps with your self esteem.

Re-Connect with Your Body

The physical body is your vehicle to achieving maximum sexual pleasure. Unless you are happy with your body image, you will never be able to fully enjoy your intimate relationships. There will always be that dark cloud looming that questions whether or not you are a worthy sexual partner, or that you are worthy of receiving pleasure from your partner.

This negative self-talk can be the one thing that stands in your way of making great connections in an intimate relationship. The good news is that it works much like your self esteem. You have the ability to control how you perceive your own body and you can focus on loving it instead.

Begin with a positive affirmation. Talk to yourself and say these phrases:

  • “My body is beautiful no matter what I look like!”
  • “I am sexy AF!”
  • “I am beautiful inside and out.”

When re-connecting with your body, it is important to not focus on it being an object of sexual desire. If you do that, it will only add pressure to yourself and can even take a negative hit on your sexual confidence. Instead, focus on healing and accepting your body for what it is and everything else will follow.

Seek Professional Help

If you cannot re-connect and heal your body on your own, it’s perfectly acceptable to seek help from a sex or body image therapist. Several men and women who have issues with their sexual relationship turn to experts for help.

The great thing about talking to an expert about your desire to feeling sexually confident is that they offer no judgment and can provide an objective point of view about your sexual experience. By talking to a therapist, you can identify thoughts and behaviors that hurt your sexual performance with a sexual partner. The moment you identify those thought patterns, you can also develop a plan to reverse them and focus on more sex positive thoughts.

If you are shy about discussing your intimate relationships, there is nothing to worry about since therapists have a confidentiality agreement with their clients. Therefore, you don’t have to feel self conscious when discussing these issues with another person because you can ensure the issue stays between you two.

Experiment with Self-Pleasure (AKA Masturbation)

A lot of men and women who lack self confidence have these issues because they have not fully experienced sexual arousal. Just because you are having sex with a partner does not mean that you can achieve orgasm or sexual pleasure from that activity. It is more common than you think, which is why many relationships don’t have a satisfying sex life.

Masturbation is a great way to boost your sexual confidence because you become aware of your body’s needs. You can use a sex toy for masturbation so you can identify how your body responds to pleasure and you will be able to seek it afterward. Exploring your body is one of the best ways to feeling sexually confident. This empowers you because you have control and how know what it’s like to achieve orgasm.

Once you have experienced this level of sexual pleasure, you will stop at nothing to realize your sexual desires.

Explore Sexual Activities With Your Partner

Aside from pleasuring yourself, another way that you can improve your sexual arousal during a sexual encounter is to experiment with your partner. You can try sexual activities or positions that you have not tried before. Understanding your body’s needs is crucial through masturbation; therefore, you can implement those sexual activities with your partner and explore your sexuality together.

It’s also a good idea to use a sex toy with your partner. These tools are not just designed for sexual pleasure. It can be exciting when you mix things up and try new things together. It can boost each other’s sexual performance in bed and become more confident.

Another idea is to watch porn together. There are a ton of free porn sites available that you can watch together so you can get new ideas to try. In fact, role playing is another strategy you can use to gain sexual confidence in bed with your sexual partner.

Again, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to improve your sex life. Try one technique at a time so that you aren’t overwhelmed. Once you find one that works, stick with it and then explore some more!

Own Your Sexual Desires

Once you identify the root of your sexual desire, don’t be ashamed and own it! Acknowledge that this particular sexual activity helps you achieve maximum pleasure and orgasm. It could be oral sex, trying out different sex positions, or exploring your bodies with your five senses.

Once you get rid of the sexual shame, it opens you up to a world of possibilities in becoming your desire to experience pleasure. Some couples try kinky sex, while others go as far as exploring threesome. Whatever it is that you want to boost your sex life, make sure that it strengthens your sexual relationship with your partner.

It’s important to maintain sexual communication with your partner. You have to openly discuss what you want to do during your sexual activity to achieve orgasm (and vice versa). It requires you to be vulnerable but it is important in your path to discovering your sexual confidence. And that leads you to the most important step of all in your desire to boost your sex life and achieve sexual confidence.

Set and Accept Boundaries

Every person is different in their perception of sex and sexual activities. What is acceptable to some is not for others. In your quest to feel sexually confident, you should never overlook your partner’s limitations. Understanding differences in culture and personal background is crucial in fostering a healthy sex life and intimate relationships.

Just because someone is your boyfriend or girlfriend does not give you a free pass to do whatever you want to do with them sexually, even if it makes them feel self conscious or uncomfortable. In order for sex to be enjoyable for both parties, it’s important that you are on the same page.

Final Tips on Sexual Confidence

Achieving sexual confidence is no easy feat. You will learn and unlearn several things in the process.

The tips above help you to get started on your journey to improving self confidence and your sexual confidence will follow suit. The secret is to be open about your body and how you feel about it. Unless you achieve that, your partner will never be open to exploring your body, too. Another important part of becoming more sexually confident is to freely express and communicate your desires. Your ability to communicate is the ticket to have more fun in your sexual act with your intimacy partner. Communication is a huge part of gaining confidence in any relationship.

If you take these small steps, you are on your way to becoming your most confident self in bed or elsewhere.

Whatever you’re into, read our expert deep-dive into the best automatic male masturbators on the market today where we test out and review the Kiiroo Keon, Autoblow AI and many more top long distance sex toys to give you the best advice on what to go for.

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