Are you wondering how to turn a girl on?
Fact – It doesn’t take much for men to get turned on. Indeed, sexual arousal is completely different between men and women. There are lots of factors to this, but the primary biological driver of sexual desire in men, according to science (though still inconclusive), is the male hormone testosterone. While psychological factors and social norms play their roles in sexual desire, testosterone makes men get turned on at the slightest provocation. Most men can easily make up scenarios in their heads or pull something from their long-term memory and get a boner. For most women, however, it’s a completely different (and complicated) ball game. This is why when you search for something like “how to turn a girl on” on the internet, you get different answers from different sources. Luckily for you, we have compiled everything you need to know to answer one of humanity’s biggest mysteries; here is a complete how-to on how to turn women on and get her in the mood for sexy time.
The science of turning a girl on
Without getting too “sciency”, sexual arousal starts from excitement. Excitement turns the critical switches in the human brain to release vasoactive intestinal peptide, the chemical responsible for the rush of blood flow down in the pelvic area that causes both the inner and outer labia to swell. This is often called sex flush, which is caused by the sudden spike of sex hormones. Most women also see pink patches on the breasts and around their body; their nipples get hard, muscles around the opening of the vagina and the clitoris also enlarge, the uterus expands and the vagina’s lubricating fluid is produced. This is how powerful the effect of sexual tension is on a woman’s body.
Thus, the idea is to make her excited – excited by the thought of being intimate with you. How exactly do you do that?
Fortunately, you don’t need to understand the intricacies of the woman’s brain chemistry to trigger the requisite juices of excitement/sexual arousal. Here are surefire ways to do just that.
Note: You can use these tips to get your woman in the mood for the bedroom, or to get women you just met sexually attracted to you. Whichever applies.
Confidence is Everything
Before you dive into the rabbit hole, you need to start with yourself first. You can’t expect anyone to be sexually attracted to you if you don’t have the qualities of an attractive man.
While you don’t have to be 6’4 jacked and good-looking, you can look good by simply being confident about yourself.
Confidence is a significant turn on for women. It shows capability, reliability, and strength. These are the qualities women look for to feel safe and secure. Moreso, confident men are stable men, which is the most important foundation for a lifelong relationship.
The best way to show confidence is through body language. Mind your posture when meeting and introducing yourself to a girl. Keep your chin high and shoulders straight when you talk to a girl and don’t be shy to look her deep into her eyes. Remember, communication is 55% non-verbal, 38% vocal, and 7% words. These digits aren’t just plucked out of thin air, these are products of years of research.
Being confident doesn’t mean being cocky. The last thing you want is to be seen as arrogant. Be confident but be the best version of yourself.
Without further ado, here are some tips on how to turn a girl on and get those requisite juices flowing for the bedroom.
Foreplay starts outside the bedroom
When people hear the word foreplay, they immediately think of kissing, caressing, squeezing, massaging, and licking the more intimate erogenous zones. Well, yes, that is the warm-up for the main event, but how do you make a woman excited to get into the bedroom with you in the first place?
If you want her to want you, you need to lay down the groundwork.
The biggest foundation of a good sexual relationship and satisfying sex for a woman is when it is consensual, safe, and pleasurable. But that is when you are already there. But how do you get there? What should you do before you get there?
Make a woman feel desired. Make her feel sexy and confident about her body. This way, she will toss all her insecurities away and feel reared up and ready when you two are finally in the bedroom.
The idea here is to plant the seeds of a sexual desire.
Charm Her with Compliments
If you want to turn a woman on, compliment her. Don’t give cliché and cringy compliments though.
Dating advice is extremely convoluted these days; some say you should never compliment a girl, and some say otherwise. Well, I’d say, there is a right time, venue, and social cues for complimenting a woman. Thus, the key here is timing – knowing the right time, place, and context to do it. More importantly, know the right words to say.
Saying the wrong things at the wrong place, and at the wrong time, will make you look weak and desperate. However, if you time it perfectly, compliments will turn her on.
The goal of your compliment is to sexualize an interaction; it should make the woman think about sex, whether consciously, or subconsciously. To get her to feel something is going on between her and you (again, establishing sexual tension).
How to turn women with compliments
The best way to compliment a girl is to personalize the compliment based on her and the context of your interaction.
You can always start with her clothes, her accessories, jewelry, her hair, or even her physical attributes (eyes, lips, etc.).
You can say:
“That dress looks perfect on you”
“I like your brown eyes”
You can also end a compliment with a question to tone it down a little bit and avoid being seen as creepy.
You can ask:
“You are rocking that dress, do you work out?”
A good specific compliment suggests you find the girl attractive. This way, you make her feel good about herself and make the interaction exciting.
A specific and personalized compliment is good, but it’s not enough, you have to mean what you said.
Women are experts in reading between the lines, thus, you have to be very careful when giving out compliments, especially if it’s about her physical attributes. You have to be genuine with your compliment and believe that is true.
For example, if you believe she’s rocking that dress and ask if she works out, don’t just make something up. Point out what makes you think she works out. Like her toned legs or great figure. Women who workout love to hear compliments about their bodies, it’s like a validation of their hard work in the gym.
If they say they don’t workout, then you can just say, “Oh wow, that’s amazing”
Compliments put power in words. However, when giving out compliments, you should gaze into her eyes.
Gaze deep into her eyes
You can turn a woman on by looking straight and deep into her eyes while you give your compliments.
The way you deliver the compliment is just as important as the compliment itself. And the best way to compliment a woman is to look deep into her eyes as you utter the words. This is extremely important especially when you are approaching a girl you just met.
Looking into her eyes while you say your compliments means you are being honest and authentic, and girls will feel that.
And don’t look away until she looks away first. This is a subtle way of asserting your dominance in the situation.
Looking into a woman’s eyes is also a good strategy to establish a connection, especially when there is a lull in your conversation to avoid dead air moments on your first date when neither of you is talking.
Turn A Girl On Through Touch
Physical touch is by far, the most important facet of foreplay, especially foreplay outside the bedroom. And women are sensitive to touch.
Again, each woman is different, so you should know when to touch her at the right time, naturally and effortlessly, without looking like a pervert.
How and When To Touch A Girl On First Date
Most men are afraid to touch a girl on a first date, thinking they don’t want to cross any boundaries and be seen as a pervert.
The truth is, if a woman shows interest in you, she wants to be touched. Of course, there is an appropriate way to how to and where. You cannot go wrong with light touches and gentle touches, even the second you meet her for your date.
Start of your date
Establish physical contact as soon as you meet her on your date. It can be a light hug or gently taking her hand when you greet her. This is also a great way to make it comfortable for the two of you to touch each other. The more you delay touching on your first date, the more it gets weirder later on.
During the high points of your conversation
Does she find your jokes funny? If yes, touch her lightly by patting her elbow, or place your hand lightly on hers. You can also give her a high five.
Touching during high points of conversation will make her associate you with good and positive feelings.
Whenever she feels comfortable
When touching a girl you just met, you have to start your touching in less intimate areas of her body, and less intimate ways. This means light touches on her hand, arm, shoulders, and lower back.
If you find she feels comfortable with your touch, then you can up the ante to more romantic touch.
Is she sitting close to you? Does she hold your hand whenever you touch her hand? Does she lean in when you place your arm around her shoulder?
When you are leading her somewhere
Touching her when you try to lead her somewhere is a good way to show chivalry. This works when you are wading through a crowd, opening a door, or when crossing the street. This makes the woman feel safe around you.
When to back off the touching
Make sure you watch out for body language cues whenever you are touching her. The last thing you want is make her feel uncomfortable with your touches.
When she leans back whenever you try to touch her, or pulls her hand when you touch it, then it is best to back off from touching her at the moment.
What to avoid
Avoid sexual touches on your first date, especially in public. This means never getting anywhere close to her breast, butt, inner thighs, etc. Even if it were gentle touches. Respect her boundaries and refrain from sexual touches.
Learn the Art of Sexting
Another great way to plant the seeds of sexual desire and turn a woman on is through the power of words (or audio and videos) and by feeding her imagination – sexting.
You see, the brain is the biggest sex organ in the human body. Everything starts there, including attraction, affection, excitement, imagination, and sexual arousal. And how do you tap into her brain and plant the seeds of sexual desire when you are not physically with each other at the moment? Simple – with words, through texts.
Words (along with images and videos) are likely to arouse their imagination.
Sexting is the modern-day equivalent of a love letter. It is one of the best ways to do powerful foreplay outside the bedroom. Thus, sext your woman while at work to build that tension up and set the stage for the bedroom. Sext her, tease her and take a photo of yourself with just a towel on (don’t include your face and please, please, with cherry on top, no dick pics!).
The great thing about sexting is it stays between the two of you (hopefully). It is private and is not constricted by social pressure. Both parties can express themselves freely without the fear of being judged. You can also reply whenever you want and maintain an exciting vibe throughout.
Turn her on through sexting
Let’s say your first date went well, and you are certain you have established a good emotional connection with that woman. You can feel the chemistry and you want to take it up a notch. This is where the benefits of sexting get into the picture.
Before you consider getting intimate (and naughty) to someone over text, you need to have a good grasp of the other person’s boundaries. To hit the ball rolling, consider these tips:
Get straight into it, but don’t overdo it
Women love confident men. But there is a thin line that separates confidence and being a jerk.
You can’t send a sext that says “It was lovely meeting you, I look forward to banging you hard soon.”
That is inappropriate and will 99.99% not work.
Also, that is neither sexy nor smart to read. It was too direct without any subtlety.
Put some naughty flair into it. Send something like “It was lovely meeting you, I couldn’t help thinking about your lips… I couldn’t concentrate on my work today.”
If she’s surprised, move on to a different topic and never apologize
Two things can happen after you send a sext like that; she will be shocked or act shocked. Either way, this is a normal response to protect her reputation. Obviously, she doesn’t want to be seen as easy. When this happens, move on to a different topic without apologizing.
This may sound rude, but not acknowledging your sext is your way to stay in control. Apologizing will make you look shy and meek.
If she insists, then you can say something like “I didn’t expect you would take it that way, I must admit, I can go far beyond that sometimes. I will let you punish me though.”
Sexualize your texts
Once you have established the initial stages of naughty texting, you can now proceed to sexualize your messages.
Most men are afraid to go straight to this stage (talking dirty), thinking it might ruin their chances by sounding like a perv. However, once you have solid and exciting interaction with the woman before getting her number, light sexting will be worth all the risks.
Ask leading questions
Combine curiosity with vulnerability to open the lines of sexy communication.
There are many ways to do this, but you can start by telling a girl what you want to do with her. This way, you will make it clear to her that she can meet you halfway through the conversation.
You can also go straight to sexy confessions and then transition to a question.
It is extremely easy to get lost in the moment when sexting, especially when things are getting intense and both of you are on the same page. With that said, always proofread your message. The last thing you want is bad auto-correct killing the mood.
Nobody likes to read “I’m thinking of licking and kissing your clot.”
Also, don’t go super Shakespeare. Nobody likes reading “I long to feel your pulsating heart against mine” That’s just cringy. Be casual and subtle. Make your sexts easy to read and comprehend.
Turn A Girl On In the Bedroom
Now that you have established an emotional connection, it is time to turn your girl on physically.
The best way to turn a woman on is to be present and engaged at the moment. Give your woman your utmost attention before you even reach the bedroom. Turn off the TV, put your phone away, and have a meaningful conversation with her. From there, you can slowly set up the scene.
Dim the lights
Put the dim lights on to set up a sexy mood, light up some candles and play soft music too. People, women, in particular, feel less self-conscious in a low-light environment. Thus, is she’s comfortable, she’s more relaxed and willing to express themselves sexually. Moreover, when you set the scene, it shows that you care about her feeling comfortable.
Tell her how much you want her
Help your woman get into the mood by telling her how sexy she is, and how badly you want to rip her clothes off. This will give her more confidence to be intimate with you and build gnawing tension.
Also, use this time to talk to her erotically. Whisper in her ears, use the light pressure of your breath, and tell her the things you want to do with her, and what you want her to do to you.
Prime her body with your touch
When a woman is comfortable with your presence and advances, that is when you can take the touching to the next level.
Fact – women need more buildup to get into the “mood” than men. Thus, help her get into the mood with your touch.
Touching can be as simple as running your fingers on the lines of her hand, rubbing her arm, or holding the back of her head as you kiss her. Think of it as romantic foreplay.
Again, every woman is different. This is where you need to know her. Discover for yourself what makes her tick and excited. Do your homework.
Give her the most passionate slow kisses
This may sound stupidly obvious, but a passionate and sensual kiss on the lips can turn any woman on and get her in the mood for sex. The lips are riddled with extremely sensitive nerve endings. Thus, when kissing, it turns on certain critical switches in her brain which triggers the release of feel-good hormones (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin) that tingles her spine and increases blood flow to the pelvic area. Giving anyone a feeling of natural high. What is even more amazing about a good kiss is it makes anyone crave more.
Unfortunately, not every man knows how to give a girl a good passionate kiss.
Newsflash – there is absolutely nothing sexy or remotely sensual about ramming your mouth and slamming your teeth into hers and sucking her dry like you are pulling her soul out of her body.
Your breath should smell fresh to deliver a good kiss. A mouthwash or gum can come in quite handy in situations like this.
The best way to kiss and turn a woman on
The best way to kiss is to take it slow. Many times, men make the mistake of kissing in a hurry they end up looking like they are trying to devour their partner.
Also, the kiss differs in the context of your relationship. If it is your first kiss, then there’s no need for too much tongue action (there will be a time and place for that, we will get to that later in this article). Unless she initiates, in which case, you are good to reciprocate.
Also, don’t quickly chomp down on her lips in the middle of your kiss, save that for later.
If it is your first make-out session, make her crave more by stopping to cuddle and then slowly start kissing her again. Again, be gentle and don’t rush things.
Don’t be a creep and close your eyes when you kiss. Relax and enjoy the moment.
Try different approaches. Tilt your head slightly and watch her reaction. If she likes it, then kiss her again.
When you see her enjoying your kiss, grab the back of her head (around the nape) and gently pull her hair a little bit for a huge passionate kiss. This is probably the time when you can include some tongue action. Then stop, and watch her reaction. If she likes it, do it again.
If she is turned on by your aggressive kissing, that means she is ready to get dominated by you in bed. Again, adjust accordingly.
Many women prefer aggressive and dominant men in the bedroom, but not all. So watch out for her cues. Stop immediately if you see any negative reaction.
When you stop, you can gaze into her eyes and tell her how beautiful are hot she is before going back to kissing her again slowly and gently.
Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay
Where do girls like to be kissed? Pretty much anywhere and everywhere.
Obviously, the lips aren’t the only body part you can kiss. Every part of her body can be sexual if you know how to touch them. However, there are extra sensitive areas that react incredibly to kisses. These intimate areas are called the erogenous zone. And each woman has preferred combinations of their favorite erogenous zone that wants to be stimulated.
There are erogenous zones in a woman’s body than in men. What are these erogenous zones? Here are a few examples:
- Collar bone
- Upper arm
- Breasts (especially nipples)
- Butt cheeks
- Inner thighs
- Lower stomach (especially navel)
- Side of her ribs
- Pelvic area
Spend more time in her more intimate erogenous zones. Kiss them, lick, run your lips or fingers around them, suck them, etc. You will drive her crazy, and that will make all the difference in the world for her.
If you are having difficulty trying to get her comfortable and in the mood to go all the way, try to communicate with her about her preferences and desires.
Go down on her, and spend your sweet time
Vagina and clitoris may come in different shapes and sizes, but one thing is the same in all of them, they all react pretty much the same.
Think about it, the clitoris is the woman’s equivalent to the tip of your penis. It packs an incredibly amount of nerve endings, making it extremely sensitive area for stimulation. You like the tip of your penis getting kissed, licked, and sucked right? Well, women too. So don’t deprive women of that pleasure. Go down there and spend your sweet time.
Not sure how long you should pleasure her clit? Well, however long you think clit-licking should be, double it, or even triple it for good measure to make sure she’s ready for the main event. Women love to start with that.
Again, every woman is different. So you have to take cues from your partner on how she likes to get stimulated down there. Some like it rough, but most of them prefer soft and gentle circling motion with your tongue.
From there you can go down to her vagina and do the same.
Make her enjoy getting oral sex from you
Most women are conscious about their intimate body parts, especially down in their pelvic region. Some are extremely shy about getting oral sex. They are concerned about how it looks, smells, etc. The best way to turn women on is to make them feel comfortable and enjoy the oral sex you are giving her. This is the surefire way to orgasm. You can ease her worries away by asking her to shower together.
Women loves to get multiple stimulation simultaneously. Thus, while going down on her, get your hands busy by touching her all over. You can squeeze her breasts or play with her nipples with your fingers while you are circling your tongue on her clit and vagina. You can also grab her waist and stroke her thighs. You can even lift her butt by placing both hands on her butt while you are at it and squeezing those butt cheeks.
Add some variety
Don’t be boring with your tongue strokes while going down on her. Add some variety. You can use circle motions, or write the ABCs with your tongue. You can also spell her name in cursive while down there.
Don’t just use one motion and speed too, use different speeds and make it unpredictable.
Parting Tip: Leave her wanting for more
A woman’s brain chemistry is extremely complex. Luckily, you don’t need a medical degree to turn a woman on. These simple tips and tricks can go a long way. As said earlier, interest, attraction, excitement, orgasm, and climax all happen in the brain. This is why you need a combination of emotional, psychological, and physical stimulation to turn a woman on.
Moreover, the best way to keep her turned on is to keep her interested in you. So leave before she gets bored. When you break off contact while she is still very much interested, you will be inside her head constantly.